Spiritless
by Rath Set-Seraph
Summary: Pegasus thinks of love and his deceased wife before he dies (chap7) Seto and Mokuba brostuff(chap1&4) Honda tells a story (chap 6) Marik's thoughts of Life (chap5) Ryou thinks of his dead sister (chap2) Joey has a moment with his friends (chap3)
1. Life loves Irony

Rath- Hello, this is just a one shot story, not much *shrug* Just felt like writin' a short story. 

Set- Huh? *yawn*

Rath- Good morning, Mister Clueless. 

Set- Hn. We no own *thud* ZzZzZzZz

Rath- Yu-gi-oh. 

I stare down at him. 14 year-old. Mokuba was walking down the street, joking and talking with a group of friends. And am forgotten. I gaze at him from my office window, not caring who could see me. I want Mokuba.

Life loves Irony, and I am its next victim.

Mokuba needed me when he was younger. I was there, the big brother knight. I exiled the fears of a little child, I excused tears when emotions were hurt or knees were scraped while running around trying to drag my briefcase. But now. It isn't here. It isn't Mokuba who needs me… I need Mokuba. He is the only thing in my life that kept me going. My only candle flame in a dark, tortuous, chamber cell. 

Life loves Irony.

The Big Five, Pegasus, Egyptian Fairytales, Destiny, Virtual Worlds and the Shadow Realm could not tear Mokuba away from me. And yet, in the middle of a peaceful era, he's gone. In a single moment, he gone, left, no longer do I exist? I barely see him around, no little voice saying 'Seto, wait for me!' or 'Seto, go to sleep, all people need sleep.' Now, it's a confidant, loud 'Good Morning, I'll see ya' later.' or 'I'm goin' to a friends house, be back in a few!' Sometimes even a slamming door with 'You don't own me, you're not my boss! Fuck off!'

All birds leave the nest, but this one was never meant to fly so far. I don't understand. All the problems, all the equations, all the technology, none are in compare to this. I am alone now. Everything I live for evaporated when he left. 

I'm a simple tool, a replaceable inanimate object with no emotion, an unimportant person that can be replaced by another. I am as a ripple in the ocean to him, unimportant, never there, only to disappear among the others. A faceless phantom, soon to fade back into the shadows with the coming of daylight. 

I sit on my desk, feet resting on the chair. Obviously, the only thing in life is one from me. My existence would be empty. Empty and as unreal as the virtual monsters I make. What's the point…if there is one… I play with a small gun I had resting on my desk. I could take it all away. One simple blow, all my fears and pain gone. If only. I run my fingers over the cold, black metal, thinking, thinking. What about Mokuba, would he be able to take on my death, the responsibility of company? Hn, what am I saying? He doesn't care for me, and no empire is immortal. He would probably sell it to the highest bidder.

I'm sorry, Mokuba. I want to be there to watch you grow, I want to watch you grow, your own empire and power scraping at the sky. And yet, what good would it be if you don't care if I'm there or not. I'm sorry, Mokuba. 

I hold the gun up to my chest, right at my heart. My heart now wrapped in thorn wire and coated with ice, the flame that warmed it now gone. Let it shatter, let it break, for now it is useless to me. Let it die.

---

__

Today Seto Kaiba was found fatally injured. He is currently in Domino Central Hospital his condition is still in question. Further information has not yet been released.

---

A small choppy sound woke me. I feel my eyes move under my closed lids. I wake up to a white ceiling, but not mine. I sit up, grimace and fall back into a large, uncomfortable pillow. 

'S-Seto?' A familiar voice says to me. I look over, and there's Mokuba. Mokuba? 

'Seto!' He nearly screams and hugs me, I hiss into the regulator in pain. He yelps in surprise then sits down, hands moving in panicked jerky movements. Tears were running down his face. Why was he crying? It couldn't be…for me? 

'Seto! You're all right! You're all right!' The tears fall faster now, and he begins to hiccup. I smile and soon my eyes threaten to spill. 

'B-but, Mokuba, I-I…' 

'Seto! Please don't leave me again, ple-!' I lean forward and put a finger on Mokuba's lips. He went quiet and I began to wipe away the tears, ignoring my own streaming down my face. I pulled him in for a hug and began to rock back and forth as I used to do when he had nightmares before. I closed my eyes and counted his breaths, burying my face into his hair. I ignored the rest of the world. I wanted this moment so badly and it was mine. After 4 years of being alone, this one moment is mine to have, to remember. To love again. He gently hugged be back. Tears fall freely from our blue eyes.

'I love you big brother.'

'I love you too, Mokuba, I love you too.'

Rath- Okay, maybe that was a little bit sad, but review, alright? Ja ne.

Set- Later!


	2. Why?

Rath- Okay, so I decided that I'd make a little collection of short stories.

Set- sniffle.

Rath- Alright, so as I had told you, this one's about Ryou reflecting about his little sister's (Amane) death.

Set- Sniffle.

Rath- Not all of the stories will be sibling ones, but I though this would do for now. 

Set- SNIFFLE!

Rath- Yes, Set, my dear Yami, I know that your sick. Again. 

Set- Me need a tissue.

Rath- *sigh* Pardon while I go scold a stupid little spirit for forgetting to wearing a sweater today. Enjoy. 

Set- sniffle.

Rath- Ahem?

Set- sniffle?

Rath- Disclaimer. 

Set- Oh, we no own Yu-yu-yacHOOO!! Yu-gi-oh. Sniffle.

Rath- Oh dear….

Ryou Bakura P.O.V

I ignore the warnings of my father and reach my shaking hand out. In the background, friends and family sob. Not my friends though. They don't know. Not my family. They never showed any compassion for me or my little sister. To them we were just freaks. We mean nothing to them. They were just there to make sure they gained some good karma. I felt my jaw clench. I hate them. They don't know the pain that I feel, burning constantly, ebbing away at my hope, happiness and sanity.

I let my fingers slide over the skin of my little sister's cheek. Her cheek was similar to my own. Both pale, mine because of how I naturally am, while hers because death spares no mercy. Both cheeks cold, mine because of the brisk November air, while hers because of the Grim Reaper's touch. 

My father comes up behind me and rests a hand on my shoulder. I attempt to shrug him off, wanting no one to come near me. He leans in and whispers into my ear.

'Please, Ryou. I know this is painful. Just a little longer, just say a good word for your sister.' I bite my lip and feel my throat and chest tightening in my sorrow. I open my mouth, but only close it again. I can't even trust my own voice now. It betrayed me, as with the hope that I will always have someone there for me. It's all gone now. 

I snap my head down and run. My father's voice calls after me, _Ryou! Ryou, come back!_ I can't take it. I can't go back. Run as fast as I can. Suddenly, the 'Ginger Bread Man' comes to mind. I remember reading that book to her and how she would giggle at how the silly ginger bread man would taunt his 'friends'. I attempt to laugh. Laugh away my fear and everlasting pain that stung at my chest, rendering my already weak heart pathetic. I feel the wind in my hair, brushing my face. As if it were trying to help me dismiss what ever worried me. I won't cry, I refuse to. 

I've been a slave to so many things in my life, I don't want to be forced to bow down and serve to another twist in my life. I don't want to be chained down to another agony or power. My wings won't be clipped. I push myself harder, ignoring the fact that my muscles were screaming for oxygen and rest. The tombstones and crypt entrances are disappearing behind me now, faster than before. 

I suddenly feel something hit my foot. I gasp as I slam the ground then roll down a steep hill. I groan as I'm thrown against the foot of a large statue. My head hurts, a steady storm brewing inside. Why, why me? Why am I meant to be alone in the world? I don't understand…The tears pool in my eyes, threatening that I better toughen up or they will fall. Just as my pride and happiness did. Still sprawled on the moist, green ground, I look up. My shock was given away by my brown eyes widening. 

The statue I was laid down upon, was that of an angel. A brilliant angel, looking down at me with frozen, inspiring eyes. The white stone used to carve it was now tainted with the wares of time. Yet, despite of how drab the clothing and skin of the statue became, there it was. The solid, unwavering expression of serenity and joy. Arms spread, ready to accept and love those who needed help. Ready to comfort those who misfortune favored.

Why was there no one like that? No one to heal my wounds, no one to care.

'Arr! I hate you! I bloody hate you!' I screech at the statue banging my fists against the stone. I begin to sob; my breath coming in short gasps. My hair falls into my face. I don't care now. I slide down; half of me still draped over the feet of the angel. I look back up, longing to feel the joy that the figure felt. Or better, to be the rock from which it was formed and not have to deal with emotion in general.

Everyone I love, anyone who shows the slightest compassion for me is gone. They are just out of my reach. I always manage to screw up anything that may bring me a shred of bliss. My hands are red now, my gift for wanting what every human wants. I slip down into the grass and hug myself, bringing my knees up against the breeze. I shiver, as the wind grows more intense. I continue to cry, staring at the distant. 

My head continues to pound. And soon, the cemetery phases into a dark abyss.

Something tickles my face. I sit up and rub my still watering eyes. I glance up. The angel is standing above me, standing out against the starry sky. The wind blows, and yet, I'm not cold. A voice is being carried it seems. I extend my fingers and let them follow the breeze. I look back up to see a shooting star, bullet across the sky. My Amane. My dear little sister. She is that star. That little star is she. They each have the same glint, the same fire that warms others. Yet, they are the same in the way that I will never see them again. Never again. I feel a heat coming from besides me. I turn only slightly before another face nudges me to look forwards.

__

Don't worry, big brother, Ryou. She places my hand on my chest, the touch comforting in an impossible way. _I live here now. _

And I eternally will be. 

Rath- There we are. Hope you all liked it. ^_~

Set- Review 2.

Rath- Too lazy to write 'to', huh? 

Set- sniffle. And tired 2.

Rath- Alright. Well, as he said review and don't worry, the romance fic. Is coming soon! Ja ne!

Set- Later.


	3. Here They Are, Here They Remain

Rath- Here we are. 'Nother 'Spiritless' fic.

Set- ^_^

Rath- He just discovered that 'Dentyne' is just as good as regular bubble gum.

Set- Sweet, Icy goodness. ^_^

Rath- *sigh* When I had finally though that the bubble gum obsession was gone…

Set- I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum…and I just GOT MORE BUBBLE GUM, er, icey- gum…!!

Rath- You know… You just completely messed up the line.

Set- Me know. *snuggles with the packet*

Rath- We don't own Yu-gi-oh. Now, Set, would you like some 'alone time' with your gum?

Set- Watch it, hikari.

Rath- ^_^ Oh, and thanks for reviewing, it does make a difference. 

Jounouchi Katsuya P.O.V

My 'father' woke me up. A shattering of glass, spraying across the ground and air, his version of a loving parental wake up call. Father is such a funny word. A male parent, as a dictionary will have said. That's all. It says nothing of compassion or love that a human may show. But, that is the only requirement. Fill out the 'form' and you're ready. It says nothing else. And I guess that's what this man sees. 

'Get the fuck up and get to school! It costs money, you carcass! Be happy you're even livin'. Had my way, you'd be either dead or wit ya' bitch mother.' I frown and hold back what curses and anger I wish to yell back at him. Wish, want and can someday. Damn that friggin bastard to hell. Feh, 'father'. What an over-statement. I hate him. I sit up and walk past the swine. One day I'll get my own apartment, and I won't have to depend on anyone but myself. I don't get him at all.

I walk in utter silence to the bathroom and change into my uniform, after fishing around the laundry room for a clean, white shirt. A shirt untouched by stain. Unlike my happiness. I brush my teeth and run my fingers through my unruly blond hair. I grab some papers, which can be identified as my homework, off the shitty kitchen table and lazily pick up my spread out school bag as I leave for the door. Making sure I move to swiftly to avoid another nice conversation with that guy I'm forced to live with.

One day I will gain my independence, my freedom, my ticket from Hell and my key to the Heavens. One day, the taste of victory will be in my mouth. 

I walk down the street. My salvation friends. My sanctuary, school. Soon, they'll be here to comfort me. I continue to walk. Nearing the Game Shop Anzu and Honda stand there, probably waiting for Yu-gi to finish his breakfast again. My stomach grumbles. Damn, I forgot breakfast. I remember when they decided to wait outside my apartment for school once. I had gotten into a fight with the swine and they heard and saw the entire thing. I was never so humiliated. Since then, things seem to be different. They don't speak to me as much, they don't invite me to their games or parties. 

It's as if… they're afraid of me… afraid I may turn into that madman I live with. 'Afraid'? What am I saying? I don't think that's the word, perhaps, 'disgusted' is a more truthful word. But what if they're right? What if I do become him? What if I am becoming him? No. I c-can't. I won't. But, what if I am? What if this was what he thought when he was my age? What if…? 

'Jouno?' I quiet voice asks me. 'Jouno?' I come back to reality. I had stopped walking about twenty feet away from the shop, involuntarily as I was thinking. I guess my teachers were right about one thing. I am one track minded. I look down. Yu-gi is staring up at me with those in-humanly large eyes. They look worried. Most certainly, not about me though. Probably scared that I'm considering whether to kill them or not. I force a smile.

'Yeah, Yug? Sorry 'bout that. I, uh, was just thinkin' about today's math test results.' I say with a goofy laugh added to the end. I stick a thumbs up to add a cherry on top, to reassure them I'm okay. But what good is it, when even I am unsure if I'm alright… They all give me a quizzical look, but shrug it off and give me a smile back. We all walk to school. The three of them talking freely, no care in the world. Inexperienced and unexposed to all the pain and suffering one can feel. 

I feel alone. I don't know why. I know I can partake in the conversation, I know I can act as I usually do. But I can't. I don't want to any more. I know I am not alone, but what if I am? Is that why? Because I am scared of what others may feel towards me and how much it can change? I look down at my feet caring me and drift off, not paying attention to where I go or what others do. I just drift off and am alone. 

I reawake when we enter the class and settle myself at the desk in a far corner of the room, next to a bright window. The sun warms me. The sun is my only comfort now. It cannot judge me or how I change. It is always there, to comfort me. 

'I have your tests graded.' The teacher announced, picking up a stack of papers from her desk. I look at her momentarily then look out the window again, trying to be stoic about it. She walked up and down, hand the tests to other students, with a nod of approval to each for their hard work. She soon arrives at my desk, shuffling through the stack for mine. She selects one and looks down at me, I'm sure I must look pretty clueless at the moment. She frowns and places my paper face down on my desk, shaking her head. 

'Please, see me after class Mr. Jounouchi.' And with that she walks away. I turn over the paper. D-. Dammit! I clench my teeth, God! I can't get this! I studied a fucking week for endless hours for this piece of shit! And I get a D-! I bit my lip; this shouldn't affect me. Tears start to well. I don't understand. What entity hates me so much as to make sure my life was a hell. I raise my hand and stare at the teacher, straight in the eye.

'M-may I go to the bathroom?' I ask, making sure my voice was low so that no one could hear the hint of my tears in my voice. She nods and goes to the blackboard to begin the lesson. I get up and walk down the blue hallways to the bathroom. I go to the furthest wall and slide down it, burying my face into my knees and hands. The tears well faster than I can blink them away. They fall, one at a time, slowly, as if prolonging the blows that come to my pride. I'm alone. All alone. 

I don't know how long I'm staying like this. And personally, I don't care. It's not like any one else does, so I can stay here as long as it takes to heal myself. Cover and heal those wounds. So after I can take care of myself again with out having to worry whether the others are here for me or not. 

I snap open my eyes when I hear the squeak of the door. I look up to see Yu-gi, Honda and Anzu come in. I look back down. I don't want to see them and especially, I don't want them to see me. They come sit by me, I can hear them.

'Dude, you okay?' Honda says slapping my back. I bite my lip harder and glare up at him. They've got so much nerve to joke around at a time like this.

'Sorry.' He mumbles, glancing nervously at the floor. Yu-gi looks over at me with quizzical eyes.

'Jouno, we've noticed you've been acting strangely lately. What's the matter?'

'Yeah, remember, Jouno, we're here for you.' I give Anzu a cold look. How stupid and clueless are these 'friends' are. According to them, _I'm _the slow one.

'Dun give me any of that friendship shit, Anzu, you hypocrite. My father is about as useful as a jackass, I'm failing school and you guys act as if you could care less!' They look at me with confusion and sadness, bull. I don't' believe it. B-but, to have friends, is a wonderful feeling… No. What am I saying? They don't care for me… A hand rests on my shoulder. 

'Jouno, we're just worried about you. We weren't sure of what you wanted. But, you mean so much to us. We're all family. We thought you knew that.'

'Yu-gi's right, Jounochi, we're your friends. That's what we do, stand by your side.' Anzu said.

'And as cheesey and spazzy as it may sound, we'll always be there for you. That's why we're here.' I simply look at them and nod. 

'T-thanks guys… I-It means so much to me. Well, I mean, _you _guys mean so much to me.'

'We know, don't worry. We're here and we always will.' They smile reassuringly and they all hug me. All of them. I snuggle into the warmth of it. The happiness that it brings.

I let the rare mirthful smile crawl onto my lips. I suddenly open my eyes and ask.

'Hey, guys, is this what it feels like to have real friends?' They draw back and look at me momentarily before hugging me again, tighter than before. They answer with it.

'Yeah, Jouno, this is what it feels like.'

Rath- Okay, little bit sappy, sue me. But, ya' know what, this I'll dedicate to my friends. Thanks guys for supporting me always!

Set- Uh, huh. I'm goin' leave Rath and all those sentiments to themselves now. But still, yeah, this is dedicated to all our friends.

Rath-Alright, so review please! Thanks. Ja ne.

Set- Yeah, later.


	4. All I want for Christmas

Rath- Yo, 'nother sibling Seto and Mokuba fic. 

Set- *coughobsessedcough*

Rath- I know, I know. But, hey, they're wonderful material to work with! So different and yet the love and care between the two siblings is amazing! 

Set- You sound like a creepy humanist. 

Rath- Well, the human psyche is an amazing field of study. 

Set- Don't say that, you weird the hell outta me… We no own yu-gi-oh by the way, before Rath goes off in a world that is galaxies away from ours…

__

Mokuba Kaiba P.O.V

I walk around our hallway, pacing in front of the large door. Where was Seto? I pause and peer out the window to the side of the door, standing on my tiptoes. Even so, my eyes barely reached the bottom. I took my stripped sleeve and wiped away the fog that clouded my vision. Nothing there but the snow covered yard. The trees swayed slightly in the wind, which causes the powder snow to wisp and follow. If only that wind could bring home Seto. The grand father clock chimed. Seven sounds of the bells rippled through the scented air. Christmas was nearly over.

I sighed and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a hot mug of steaming hot chocolate. I whimpered and quickly with drew my hand as it stung my hand. I bit my lip and pouted. Seto usually put ice in it, to make sure it was cool enough. I walked cautiously to the sofa by the window upstairs. I sat down and sipped quietly. My reflection in the window was my only company. I stared intently, and gasped as Seto sat behind me, shuffling my hair.

'Ready to read our annual Christmas story, kid?' He smiled that rare smile that would appear. I laughed and smiled happily,

'Seto, you're…home…' I turned around but saw no one. Seto would never come.

__

Seto Kaiba P.O.V 

I sit in the airport, my legs crossed and my schedule rapping against my arm in annoyance. Dammit. I have places to go and these damned people don't get it. Christmas was drawing towards it's end and here I was, in a damned airport, with out a ride. Where was that jackass of a chauffeur?!

I stood up and made my way to the transportation stand, pushing my way past panicking executives of the airport and smiling families. I felt a knot tie in my chest. Families. Mokuba. I wonder how he was doing…

I pushed the annoyance of the crowds away and slammed my fists on the desk. The person jumped and dropped the papers they were shuffling.

'M-may I help you?'

'Give me a car, any car, just do it now!'

'B-but sir, we don't have any left, and beside the car rental is over th-'

'THEN CALL UP A TAXI!!'

__

Mokuba Kaiba P.O.V

Nine o'clock. I walked to my bedroom, leaving the mug on the table, half-empty. Half empty? I usually say half full… I frowned and sat on my bed, slowly lying down and not bothering to pull the covers over me. I open my eyes, and turn away from the moonlight that entered the room. I hug myself and cry. Cry knowing Seto won't be here this Christmas and I'll be as I always am.

__

Seto Kaiba P.O.V

I drove the car, passing those too slow on the highway. I looked at my watch. 11:23, I was over an hour from home! I hit the accelerator and passed another person. I will be home this Christmas! Dammit, I will… I drive on then look down again, 11:49… I'm closer, closer… I jump out of the car, before it comes to a complete stop and rip the keys out of the engine. I grab the present and run into the house, fumbling to get inside. I glance at my watch. 11:56…

__

3rd Person POV

Seto ran into the hallway and looked around franticly. No Mokuba in sight. He darted upstairs to the family room, just a mug, full of cold 'hot' chocolate. He skidded around the corner and into Mokuba's room. There he was. Asleep. His cheeks were wet with tears and his pillow slightly damped. Kaiba rushed and over and shook Mokuba's shoulder.

'Mokie.' He whispered into his ear. The boy's eye twitched under his lids and he opened them, groggily, shaking the sleep from his eyes.

'S-seto?' He smiled and jumped onto Seto's lap, hugging him and smiling.

'Yep, I'm here, and I made it for Christmas.' They both looked at the clock beside Mokuba's bed. It blinked 11:59. He smiled and hugged him tighter. 

'Here's your present kid.' Seto said, holding out a red and green ribboned box. Mokuba stared for a moment, but then put it aside.

'Big brother, this is what I wanted for Christmas. I don't need anything more.' Seto was slightly taken back, but returned the hug. 

'Yeah, me too.' 

Rath- There we go, Happy Holidays. Thanks for reading and have a great time, ja ne.

Set- Yeah, Happy Holidays, later. 


	5. I Keep Going On

Rath- Hello, I finally updated Spiritless! Uh, can anyone say 'system over-drive?' Well, in the case any of you guys want to see certain material or situations, tell me in the reviews, okay? I'm running out of ideas!! I need some ideas in the attic!

Set- Attic?

Rath- Mind, Set, ya' know, the thing you don't have?

Set- Well, you just said you don't have anything in there, so touché. Don't give me that, by the way, I'm in no mood. 

Rath- Oh, dear… We had another bad day, didn't we?

Set- Think deeply. Think ever so deeply. It shouldn't be that hard. Feh. You don't want to know.

Rath- Alright, while I go tend to him, enjoy this chap! 

-We don't own Yu-gi-oh-

Ishtar Malik P.O.V

I walk to my motorcycle and run my hands over the metal of the handlebars. Cool metal. Nothing could happen to them. Its not like they could feel. They have no idea how fortunate they are. Fortunate that they can't feel anything. No pain, no discrimination, they can't be judged. They can change, change and form to what they wish to be. And here I stand. 

I sit on the leather seat and rest the new black and sleek helmet on my head. The visor was tinted, some what like my soul. My soul that was mutilated by my father's leave, my Yami's destruction, my own betrayal of those close to me because I could not see through the tinted glass that shielded my eyes from so much. But, that tinted glass is what keeps other safe now. Not only them, but me also. My true self, the kind that is vulnerable weak. It is hidden. They can never see my face through that beloved mask. 

Yet, the mask is also my chain. My chain the holds me down. I cannot break free from the on coming wrath of some evil that I know will arise and kill me someday. Someday, the Grim Reaper will take a liking to me. Someday… Death. It seems like such an inviting thought. No shadow games, no revenge, no pharaoh, no more pain and stupid cards. No 'ultimate evil'… No ultimate evil but that that lies asleep inside of me. The brutality and knowledge that I am not wanted and never will be. I can't change fate, fate changes me. 

I ride through the town, not caring what the people think as my motor rips through the air. Rips through the serenity of happiness. I've done it before; I can do it again. I don't care any more. I have nothing left to live for. Yet, I can't end it. It's just not an option. Life is too short to waste, too precious to destroy even if it's my own. One as wretched and useless as mine, even so, I could perhaps change something, I could… There may be something out there that is for me, not a lowly life, but one of importance and meaning. 

__

You keep believing that, Malik… A voice tells me in my head. Not my Yami, but is it? He has been gone for what seems like forever. Even so, there is some voice. Something I can't stop. Something that keeps making me doubt myself and that that I believe in. It makes sure that hope is unavailable. Always something… Something. Something wants me to damn myself to purgatory and never reach my way to Heaven.

It would make sense, though; I have done nothing to receive one's care or trust. I have only earned hatred and hell. Only hatred and hell. My darkness wants to pull me into it. Misery loves company, yes, he does indeed. But, even though Marik is gone, is the darkness? There cannot be light with out dark, or order with out chaos; so, he is still inside me. He is still there, trying to balance out myself. But, that balance is so fragile, is that why I'm like this? Is it so fragile, that a grain of sand could tip the scales and cause my mind to go into such disorder? 

I guess there is. There is nothing I can do against it, I must go on. It is not my fault. I wasn't the one to kill my father, change my way of life. Wait, I was, wasn't I? I wanted to do all that. I did. I just needed that extra boost of fury that many do not posses. My Yami is because of me. He was born from my agony, pain and anger. I am my own antagonist to this fairytale, except, there's no one to save me. I'm alone, stuck in dragons keep the key to my chains visible, but unreachable. 

I wonder sometimes, why did I want to take over the world? To gain respect and power or to not be looked down upon, is that why? To prove to my father that I can make my own choices, or be of some worth to him? But, what would I have done afterwards? What would there have been _left _to do? I would have it all, everything would be at my command, but would my emotions be? 

So, I guess I would be in the same emotional situation as I am now. Alone. Not caring about anything. I guess my whole little rant about how life was too precious to waste would be my instinct talking… The instinct to survive, no matter what. Does that mean that those who do end it all, are they above the normal human mind? Does that mean that they are more advance? So they ignore that instinct or is it simply not there?

Well, maybe those with this instinct are more intelligent, they are the ones to keep on going, while the weak perish and fall to the mercy of death. I will not show my weakness. I will not deny I have them but I will not show my fear to the world. They won't get to me, my pride will stop them. 

I will go on, no matter what anyone says. I am here, and they'd better get used to it. 

Rath- Okay, well, that was interesting…

Set- I was about the say the same thing.

Rath- Yeah, well, I'm working on a Seto and Mokuba thing again, so it'll be here soon, alright? Ja ne!

Set- Later.


	6. Shadows and Light

Rath- Here's another ficcy. Hope you enjoy it. Have fun!

Set- *bows* Yes, "have fun" reading this little piece of angst.

Rath- ^_^ Er, yes, about as much as you can reading something that is categorized into angst… This is Honda speaking, by the way. And yes, I do know that his sister is older than him, but hell, what ever, I changed it. *shrug* I don't really care. I couldn't get all the things down that I wanted to w/ Joey and Serenity or Kaiba and Mokuba that I wanted to, and we don't know a lot about Honda, so it doesn't really matter. 

-We no own Yu-gi-oh-

  
I'm unsure of my life. Everything in it and it itself. It constantly makes me wonder of everything I have done, have been, am, will be and will do. I've heard of fairytales and their stupid belief in good and magic. It's pointless. Life is reality and nothing is like the fairytales. 

So far, life has been favoring me. I have a home, my sister, family, dog, food and friends. There is nothing I lack in the physical world. I have what humans need to survive. Water, nutrition, shelter and companionship. From the outside my life could very well be "perfect." Nothing seems to shake my nerves too often or too dramatically; I am taken care of. But, the last of the four necessities of life has driven my mind to the edge of sanity. Forced me to think, and ponder and wonder what it is truly about… 

Companionship. Do we truly need such a thing in our lives? I don't see why… I have been raised to see it as obsolete, worthless, and weak. "Be prepared to drop everyone in your life if needed," "Never trust anyone," "Me, myself and I." are the phrases I have been grown on. I never knew quite why… But, everyone in my family shares the same opinion. It's so confusing to me, as a dissonance measure floating amidst the entire masterpiece of harmonic notes, fluttering on the pages and in the air.

We are taught to never judge, believe in equality, and care for humanity and so much more that makes us "good" people. But, who would be the victim of our complex jest? Are they the others of the world, or us ourselves? We all have a dark side, it has been told, developing, as we grow older, being fond of revenge, ruthlessness and hate. My family seems to be the master of the darkness that seems to linger of the souls of mankind… True, we show compassion and care for one another, but even then, only to an extent. 

I am cold, I will admit. I am rude, cruel and don't like to open up, show the little emotion I seem to have. I have no large path-marker in my life that would make me the way I am. I am just like this because of the way I am. I do not care for others as I let on, but there is an exception. Let me show you. 

There is a story of two sides. Deep inside, rooted to once beating hearts are tragedy and depression, neglect, betrayal, anger and madness. They all have seen death, bombs of explosions and angst, the suffering of others in the ocean of lost and forgotten hope. The once beating hearts stopped and hardened so nothing could penetrate them. 

Time wore on, and fate had its fun with their lives, teasing and clawing at their emotion, slowing giving up… Not caring any more, seeing that they were no longer human, it was pointless. Even fate itself felt lost when in their company, as it could not affect them as other lives he could. They did not believe in fate, said they were independent, they ruled their own lives. And the stoic humans were right that fate had no power of them. Each plan devised by him would be burned and graced the wind with its ashes.

They had lost emotion, now stoic and impenetrable. The masterpiece that now played around them was gone, turning from happy dances, to funeral marches then fading into dead silence. 

They had discovered that emotion will lead to pain, and pain is never wanted by anyone. Even the shadows cower at the light that comes to haunt the nightmares themselves. They went on to lead lives, not caring of whether they were doomed to roam this Earth alone. Then, one deep pensive thought came to the future and fate. The two sides met, and the hearts seemed to melt and the still heart moved again, fresh and new. They had seemed perfect for each other, not in a balanced form, but in that they could connect and feel for each other, know that loneliness of not the only state of being. They joined in "eternal" union, if that is what it would be called… They had born a child, years later. Started a new life, one that would forever be happy, unlike their own dark sides that were buried deep with in. 

But, there was a mistake they over looked, everyone had over looked, future, fate and the two sides. This new child, was not what it had seemed, from the beginning it seemed dead. He never talked and was at times gravely quiet. He was not yet tainted or touched by the outside world and yet he still knew revenge, anguish and hate. He did not cringe at death, at the suffering of others. And all this seemed to come from within him. Fear came that their new child would turn demonic and stoic as they had been. 

They tried their hardest to make it remain innocent, be unharmed by the world. But the apple never falls far from the tree. The child knew already, it couldn't not know. All that was in the world was still in the parents, and passed to the child. He was the ultimate form of them. All of their aspects combined the bearer of what they had created. Though, a new one, reborn into another life, stronger than the two halves that had created it. 

As he grew, he was still not completely emotionless; he still felt sadness and pain, joy and love. But, he watched his parents, and his instinct told him, they were hiding their dark sides. Trying to keep them down. He did the same. But, soon the halves began to dislike each other again, being disgusted with each others' coldness and unwilling to show compassion even a but any more. They both decided that emotion was useless in general and was not worth their time. The boy did the same. It was what his instinct told him in the first place but he was hesitant. But now that his role models had done it, he decided it was what he needed to do, so he did. 

They were all cold. They didn't care now. They would live and continue to move on. Death was not wanted; it caused more trouble than needed. But since all had at one time experienced some love, some form of caring, from a parent or partner, the hearts within them beat, faintly, almost lost in shadows. They all cared for one another. 

But a true breaker of the ice was when another was born. But this child was different. It was a star in the cloudy sky. It was not like the rest of its kin. It was happy, no dark side to be seen with in it. It was innocence and pure happiness. It was an actual child of the light. She _was_ the Light. It shared nothing in common with the darkness that surrounded it. The hearts beat faster now, almost to the pace at which a normal human's would. This child was one they all loved. 

But, the child was also pitied as much as it was loved. To be over-whelmed with harsh Shadows was hard for the Light. Yet, it kept shining and did not give in to being swallowed by the Eclipse the blocked the Sun. She still shone brightly. That is why the Shadows loved her. He brother loved her as best as he could, but he could not go past his initial instinct, what he had grown with, what his genetic code said and what he had been all his life. He tried his hardest and loved her beyond what he was. 

She was the one exception to his heart. She was the one who lived in his heart that held room for only one. The Shadow knew that he would always protect his dear sister and never let her be like him. He took it upon himself, seeing his parents do the same to him. He loved no one else, nor did he care to love anyone else. Though he loved his sibling, he often hated it. He felt as though everyone else would harm her to get to him. It made him feel weak, vulnerable. But, he still cared for her and was protective of her, making sure she was never hurt. 

But, he could not protect her from himself. He would often be harsh as a brother would. He still did not know how to be gentle. But he tried and tried. One day, he said something. He forgot what it was, as he banished it from all memory. But she cried. She had always cried, but never as this. It was the tears that were from her own beating heart, her own heart that streamed of light and joy. He felt horrible. But he could not comfort her as best as he though he should be able to. He felt dead again, that the only person he liked in the world would hate him. He knew she did not truly hate him and usually words were empty to him, but this time. He felt a pang. A stab to the chest caused his own heart to weep truly. He felt like his soul had left his body. He was now hollow.

Of all the punishments he has ever had, this was the true hell. 

He wanted to cry he wanted to cry so badly… He let two tears drop, one from each eye, one from each of his heart, one from each side of his brain, one from each his parents. He cried despite his programming, despite what he was raised to do. But after that, he stopped. He wanted to set a good role for her, even then, even when he himself needed to curl and be comforted by some one other than the shadows of his soul and the darkness of night. 

He still loved his sister, but he grew secluded and stayed away from her emotionally. He still played with her and let smile fall on his face, but they never seemed to be as happy as hers, never as happy as happiness should be. The incident of tears traumatized him and left him scared. Years passed with him still like that. Yet, instead of reversing the ice, it made it grow harder. He grew harsher to protect himself. He didn't want to show her that he was weak. He promised that he would show her he was strong and she could be stronger than anything in the world too. But, he couldn't help but feel emotion. He felt so sad that he couldn't be the big brother she deserves; a light brother.

He lay there one night, feeling like hell itself. He still felt empty, like nothing was there. But, he was also satisfied with this feeling. He wanted no emotion, nothing to slow him down. But the question was was not having emotion truly slowing him down? Which one? Which was to slow him down in this life? Which one…? He was deep in though, he could not hear the little footsteps coming inside. 

"Big brother?" A voice asked.

"What?" He snapped, he did not wish to speak to anyone but himself.

" Why are you crying?" The Light asked the Shadow.

" I'm not!" Shadow snapped at her, angry that she would accuse him of such a weak action.

" Its okay to cry…" She reassured him. She stood in front of him and strained to see his face, but could not through the darkness.

" No, its not." He stated firmly, though too roughly, making her whine. He sighed and frowned at himself, thinking how idiotic he was to be so harsh to such a delicate creature.

" Have you ever cried?" Silence hung in the air for a moment before the answer came. 

" N-no…" Shadow wavered though, still hiding his pained eyes in the shadows as he always had done.

" What if you got hurt?" She inquired.

" I don't cry! Now stop asking! Leave me be!" He yelled, coming into the light. His emotion was left out and vulnerable. She could clearly see that. 

" Okay. Do you love me?" She said, pushing his nerves unconsciously.

" Yes. I though you knew that… I will ever love you…" He said, this time the pain immense. He didn't know that she didn't know that he loved her. 

" Good. Cause other wise, I'd have to beat you up! Love you!" She laughed and punched him in the arm as she left to sleep. He frowned at the punch but smiled at the last thing she had said. 

This is my fairytale ending. The one that I thought was full of bullshit. And now I know its true. Each person has a light to follow. And I now know who mine is. 

Rath- Yes. I know. More sibling stuff. ^_^() I couldn't help myself. 

Set- Damn that thing was long… 

Rath- I know… Oh, and also the new Mokuba and Seto thing is under works! It'll be coming soon, promise! Well, alright. Thankies! Please review! Ja ne.

Set- Later. 


	7. Love Beyond Death

Rath- G'day everyone! How are you all?

Set- Hm. Well, we have finally updated.

Rath- Oh, yes, I finally came up with something.

Set- Ahem.

Rath- Fine, then, _we_.

Set- Thankies, now, enjoi. bows

We no own Yu-gi-oh 

Rath- Oh, and also, Nameless one, here is my answer to your review.

Yes, a person may have more than one light, numerous ones if you will. All an inspiration, but there will always be a brighter one, one that will outshine the others with an eternal flame. But, of course, do these lights have their own inspiration? Or do they strive with their own will? Though many people may interpret it in so many different ways, I will say what I happen to believe in. Darkness and Light are just examples that is understandable by everyone, but what is really being said is Apathy and Inspiration for Life. Everyone has an apathetic side, a dark side, but to counterpart such a personality is a content and light side. So, yes, a light can have an inspiration, for they don't really differ from that of the dark. They both need each other to experience the bliss in life that everyone deserves.

There we go, happy now? Hope so.

Pegasus J. Crawford P.O.V

"Go away!" I yelled at them.

"But, Mister Crawford, sir, we can't! You're health." Protests a damned person, stepping forwards towards me.

" Just leave me. Let me die in my own peace!" The doctors and servants leave, warily though, all giving me a concerned look before exiting. Concern born from the money that I pay them. What filthy swine. Being servants are a worthy fate for them. False concern, I hate it. Honesty is something I honor greatly, whether the truth is innocent or malevolent, honesty is one above all.

But no one has ever cared for me, but her. Cecilia. She was my only, and true love. The only one for me. And me for her, we were supposed to be inseparable. But life, life is such a wonderful thing. We ourselves were supposed to create a new life, but we couldn't. Life is so wonderful that death wants it too, and he'll try anything to get it. So he'll take it from innocent humans. He knows he can, and he will. Death's greed rivals that of humans. It's utterly disgusting. Beyond so even. I hate humans, and yet I myself am cursed with the species. Not only to be stuck with them, but also as one. My entire life I strive to be better and what happens? I end up like hell.

I will die now. There is no doubt. My Eye is gone, Cecilia is gone, my dignity is gone. I sat up slowly, and then walked to the mirror, staring at the ghost that was once myself. Blood dripped freely from a sunken eye. Sunken, like a ship, like my own will to survive. Red blood, it was like the rose I gave to my love. We were so young and simple. There was nothing to harm our love. I remember that day as I would a fresh dream. It was by a bay, and we were reading Romeo and Juliet together. We came to that of our favorite line… " A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet." And then, that's when I gave her a red rose that which was supposed to represent my ever lasting love.

That freak of a child took my Eye, my last chance to revive what is dearest to my heart. Now there is no hope for the both of us. It is pointless to hold on to more of this air-headed hope. I am now alone, and I'm sure so is she. I stop staring at myself and look at the woman painted onto the canvas.

She seems so real from afar, but when examined up close, she is nothing but paint come from reds of blood, white of salty tears, tan of flesh and skin, blues and purples of the brain. That version of her is not her true version. As of now, she is nothing but something come from my own mind and heart. We are separated from each other only by death. Only death, one stupid path marker in "life." Terribly ironic, death a part of life… A part or is it apart from life? No one has ever specified which way the saying truly goes... And perhaps it is meant to be that way.

Only to be interpreted by those who suffer it. It is said death is a freedom to those who are victims to massacre and horrors beyond imagination, but is such relief worth it? I don't quite see, one who wishes to die is seeking their own paradise, their own Eden, but do they think at all of the torture and hell that they cause those who love them when they leave?

Do they think of anyone else but themselves?! Yes, they do… What am I saying? I am such a fool, being mad her, something that she could not help. Her death was a betrayal. An interloper that slipped into a happy wedding, a happy life.

I loved her; she was the only one for me. The only one, she was my savior Angel. No, she was not an angel, but Seraphim among beguiling demon roaches. I fell in love with not only her, but also her soul. Soul… Her soul is away waiting for its next vessel and chance at life. So, does that mean, that when I die and we are both reborn, will we find each other again? And possibly, fall in love again? Are we destined to forever and for eternity?

And if, we are not reborn at the same time, will we just merely spend that single life, alone? Alone is the darkness, waiting for each other to arrive?

Or perhaps, we are not reborn? What I we were to go to either Heaven or hell as some would say… What would happen then? Would the ultimate Lord save our souls and let us rest together in Heaven, or would we both be in hell? But, would that not make hell better? So, no, that must then be an impossible idea. Hell is to be the father of all suffering and hatred. So no, two lovers would not be put in hell together.

What if perhaps, they were separated? Would that not make the one who was supposed to be in eternal happiness, now in a hell of their own? Or if each the persons had already made a pact with the Devil, and if they both went to hell…And they dare not be put together in Heaven… Perhaps they are made to watch each other suffer, but there is always the comfort of neither being able to die, as they are already dead… But which is worse? To see one dead or one suffer?

I took one last look out the beautiful window to an even more beautiful world, filled with grace and happiness, but none is a comparison to her. She will equal to far more than them, as she always shall.

She has always been the best to me and no one may change so. But, I do hope, that wherever I must go, she will be there, waiting for me. No, I know she will be there for me, as true love is to be broken by nothing… Please, my dear, wait for me, wait for an eternity if must! For you know that I will spend much more time looking and searching for you.

Rath- Okay, ta da! There we go. Hope you all had fun. Ja ne.

Set- Later.


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